A Month For Loki: Days Eleven and Twelve.

I fear my Gods, and I fear the path I have chosen. I don't usually speak of this fear, and for a while have tried to ignore it. Am I still doubtful if this is right for me? Yes. Life used to be much easier when I was a pseudo-hellenic pagan devoted to Athena with every breath of my being. Not that She isn't scary, but the people devoted to the greek deities are not as scary as some norse folks (recon or not).

Loki Himself is one to fear, because as previously established He is not the God of Fluff and can be quite cruel. But I sometimes find myself thinking on the threats agains Lokeans, and some can be so violent and truly threatening that they once made me hide. I considered being openly pagan but never speaking of the deities I honored, to work with Them in silence and never speak of such to those who aren't close to me. But that wouldn't be like me - I like to write my experiences, even if I keep quite a lot in private. And Loki didn't seem so pleased with the idea, either.

I fully understand those who keep quiet about something, be it their religion, sexuality, gender or anything else, though. On another topic I've spoken of, I recently read about someone who was sexualy assaulted for being asexual. And earlier today I saw someone speak of Lokeans, saying "all Lokeans are insane", and claiming to speak for all when he said "don't expect better treatment from us than crazy people would get". I see at least two big problems there.

This person treats Lokeans as lesser humans than anyone who follows his specific ways, just for the reason their belief system is different, and treats people with mental illnesses the same. Or at least, that's what he says. So now it's okay for someone to say they'll hurt another for a mental illness or religion? The sad thing is that I know people who think that way.

But I've learned to go against my fears and better myself, which I suppose is part of the reason I didn't run back under a rock to live blissfully ignorant of the world around me. Loki has helped, too, as he did with my other doubts. It's human to fear, and like pain, it's a sign of life. But having to be afraid of assholes who would threaten another's life and family because of religion is a big bag of shit. Part of the reason I started writing about Loki here was that, overcoming the fear of speaking of Him. I see other Lokeans say they feel completely safe and on track, and sometimes I wish to feel the same.

As for fearing Him and other deities - I've learned it is good to fear Them.